Jesus healed me…
(Something about Diana ……….)
“Don’t give me so much strength that my belief becomes weak”, I asked God after visiting Diana. She is my mom’s best friend, diagnosed for breast cancer and doctors said that probably she’s just counting days. She looked pale and weak but her trust in God is so much stronger than the healthiest people I have seen. Just couple of days ago I when I visited she looked physically better, but today she was almost reduced to half her weight. The thrusts of pain passes from her body to her face, yet below that grim facial expression she manages to spread a mellow smile. Being a single mother is really difficult and when someone has three teenage kids, who have still not recovered from the loss of their father.
Diana had been diagnosed with breast cancer before two years. She wasn’t afraid then as she continued to build up that relationship with God, through prayers and worship. During the process of her treatment she strived on the connection with God, Jesus & Holy Spirit. Indeed she was touched by the Holy Spirit; eventually her final report said that she doesn’t have cancer. This was really a miracle as my mom was by her side throughout her visits at the cancer research hospital. She continued to spread the word of God in and around the town. Reaching out several people, praying for the sick, visiting the poor, the old and needy. What most Christian institution, priests and pastors won’t do, she did, reached out to people with even financial help. It was similar to that story in Bible, where the rich man comes to the temple and offers money and the poor lady comes to offer the only coin she had. Although Diana wasn’t that rich and in spite being a single mom of growing up kids, she regularly helped people financially. Some even took advantage of this attitude of hers, but yet she blessed them. A quality she possessed that not even the brightest of Roman Catholic priests have, who are required to live in the service of God & people. I know the last parish priest swindled donation money and left a unaccounted bank balance, constructing two huge villas for himself with the same money. Perhaps even the current parish priest follows the footsteps of the former. I am not here to speak ill about those priests but what I want to point out here is that willingness to serve God, love one another , help everyone around , from any religion or denomination. I have more respect for her than the pastors or the priests.
She would organize several prayer meetings in the colony and would also go to the tribal area to spread the word of God. She was not running a congregation or a Church, but would not mind visiting any congregation or different churches. She never treated any Christian sect or denomination in hostility. Often she would testify her story of cancer, how she trusted in God, how God healed her and how she is cured. This testimony gave positivity to many; several people looked upon her for any guidance on Faith. She would preach at many different ministries. Never considering that she would set up her own ministry one day and make millions of green money. A pure selfless desire to serve God, a pure passion for Jesus Christ and strong understanding the power of Holy Spirit. I seen that glow on her face those days, with energy that she moved around quicker than a youngster , just so that she could reach maximum places in a day. For what? Just for the love of one another. She was following in the very commandment that Jesus gave in New Testament. Her new born again ways had distanced her close family members from her, who were strong Catholics. They would pounce upon her during family dinners or get together and attack her born again belief. I never saw her say that she belonged to any one section of Christianity, for Diana Catholics, Protestants, Born again, Evangelistic or any other religion were same. She didn’t have prejudice against anyone not even the family members who would turn hostile at family meets. I saw a perfect example of a woman who has devoted her life for God and Christ. Whenever there was a call from a needy person she would close her shop, now tell me who does something like that nowadays. Apparently I have seen her shop being closed for almost four days in a week. She always believed that God will supply all her needs.
Few weeks ago she started with fever, then common cold, cough, body aches, headaches and finally bleeding from her breasts. She was so much sure in her prayers that she said “I am ok, God is just testing my belief, it will pass by and I will be ok soon”. The local doctor where she was doing her visits told her to go to the cancer hospital. But she would listen she said “God has already healed me and I am strong, I trust that he will heal from whatever is happening to me”. Her situation worsened, the local doctor gave up on her treatment and declined to assist her, suggested that she must now proceed to the cancer hospital. With great difficulty her mother, brothers and friends convinced her to go to the cancer hospital. Health was so bad now that even to walk few meters’ was a task, breathing was extremely difficult. Upon visiting the cancer hospital the doctors over there declared that it’s the last stage, too late and they can’t help her now. “Take her back home and count days” said one of the doctors. I am not sure what went wrong after that miracle healing and as some of the prayer group members said that perhaps “Devil is attacking her” or some said “God is testing her”. I was totally shaken by the sight when I saw her. My family and I were praying for her everyday and we were asking God to work out this miracle again. Each day passes and her health get worse. This afternoon my mom visited her, she was grieved, in what condition she saw Diana. Mom was almost in tears, she was out of words. Thereafter when I visited her and when I saw her this evening that despite of most parts affected by cancer and pain passing through every bone in her body she still manages to smile and say “I will come out of it, Praise the Lord”.
Consequently I was perturbed and in my shear disbelief, how on earth someone so nice and living on the word of God gets this kind of trauma, this kind of suffering, I never wish that even an enemy get this kind of suffering. What wrong she has done to get this, she was healed for the same disease couple of years back and she even had her reports clear, she was healthy all this while, she even testified and now what’s this? I returned home and was unable to discuss with my mom my feelings because two days back my dad returned from hospital after his surgery ( Oh, he is one kind of Church member , a great social servant , ready to help people 24/7, I will post about him some other time ). I didn’t want to pass negative energy to my parents. I really started to ask God, why? Or if God is there? If he really is there then why does he allow suffering upon his children? My belief in my faith was getting weaker, I was thinking what happens to all the people who came back to faith after listening to Diana’s testimony, will they all be shattered like me in faith. There was lot of emotional bombardment of unknown missiles in my thoughts. I was not at ease, couldn’t find the answer. I was speaking to God all the time through my thoughts. I know if he is there and I am sure he is listening. I got some thoughts reversed to me from God and I guess probably that’s the answer.
Stations of the cross….
My dads friend visits dad this afternoon…speaks about some miraculous idols of mother mary and professes his strong faith in God through all those statues. Says he fears God. Tells one episode of how some people wanted to demolish the cross or Jesus and they all died. How many churches he visited as a part of a pilgrimage. Frances Xavier’s body at Goa….( Doesn’t God forbid all that concepts in Bible )
I meet another person speaking about the 14 stations they conducted at the local Catholic Church….wow it was wonderful. (Ritual)
Another lady tells Diana to call a certain pastor so that he will pray over the phone and she will get healed.
Another lady offers Daina a prayer book and tells her to keep next to her pillow.
I don’t know if all these people are truly Christians but I do know something for sure that Diana is a Christian , who doesn’t waste time in rituals or fancy spiritual talks but really goes around spreading the word, praying for sick and old and helping the needy to an extent of even assisting them with shelter , money and food.
Stations of the Cross in bible have great significance about the suffering and journey of Jesus before crucifixion. I know this is the test that Diana is passing from God, when someone declares trust in God, and then I am sure God wants to check out on his children. However flesh, earth, world and material is not our destiny it’s our soul’s journey to heaven and that’s what Diana is passing through; this is her stations of the cross, very painful, suffering, spiritual battle and much more. In Bible God tells so much about the challenges we will have on earth to pursue our destiny to heaven. It’s not about the world its about being with God after death. There is no need for God to test the unbelievers or the atheists, because they disapprove God. I know something from the book of Job, a test which he truly endured.
However, I am happy with some above conclusions my mind gave me, but yet that will not compliment the suffering which Diana endures now; she has got three childish kids who will require her more than anybody on this earth. I guess their belief in God will be shattered incase something bad happens to Diana.
Oh! God I pray , I ask you as you said ask and you shall receive , please I need a miracle for Diana, one more real healing , don’t desert her my Lord. My mom prays to you and trusts in you to work wonders. There are still lots of great work that we need to do together with Diana for the benefit of our brothers and sister and to the glory of God.