It was after 12 years that I decided to leave Middle East and come back to India to change my career path. Perhaps what better chance I could get then to put my experience, knowledge, years of training for the development of children in the colony where my parents reside. I had conducted many training programs and also I was faculty at the Higher Colleges of Technology in Dubai, creating an urge in the Arab students to be better businessmen and better individuals. My success rate had been touching 100% in the Middle East. But things weren’t the same in India.
I thought I could influence children to be better individuals and also have a great Godly life. Tragically Indian kids live in a world TV, movies, video games, cell phones and rock music. Their attention span is not longer than a TV commercial, their ability to speak clearly is lost, and their ability of speaking one proper language is also a painful effort. They have a hard time translating thoughts into words and the manners of sitting without uncontrolled movements is also a curse, all they need is some tuition teachers or adults to control their behavior.
Concerning sex education, it was painfully clear that there was nothing I could do for these kids, as they know more than me. How do you convince a girl not to date boys when her own mother goes out on dates? You and I know that she is too young to think about such things, but the fact is, by 6th grade these kids’ minds are set into the pattern created by the mass media. It made me realize that you really have to focus on protecting your kids from a very young age and arm them with knowledge.
The kids on the path of Faith need to be like horses with blinkers as there are possibilities’ that they might get trapped in the influence of their ill-mannered classmates. Similarly if the kids are too much on the direction of Faith then they face hostility and are ridiculed by their friends and classmates. Although these kids might find difficult to adapt to the social understandings or even discern the facts of the external world and get criticized badly. Parents fail to understand that their kids are going to learn everything from school but from all the external anti-social elements. We have to tell them that they are persons of value who deserve to be respected and cherished and to enjoy happy and healthy relationships. Many children never hear these words from their parents so they seek affection and positive encouragement elsewhere. Most kids chase after boyfriends or girlfriends because the media tells them this is how you find happiness. Parents really need to walk the middle line between saying too much and not saying enough.
Young kids don’t need the “details” of how babies are made but they do need to be told at a young age, for example, which parts of their body are off limits, even to family members, and the child should be made to promise to report any violations even if done in jest. Since they are giggling about boys as early as first grade, girls need to be advised well in advance that their lives will be miserable if they fall in love with boys before they are old enough to get married. They need to know the rules of clothing. They need to be instructed never to be alone in a room with a boy. Their brother should go with them if they are visiting the neighbor kids or cousins. You really can’t be under-prepared.
A kid needs to understand that they need to be chaste until their marriage and how to respect the instructions of their own parents. However, parents need to convince and make their kids understand in the best & simplest of manner as it makes sense to the kids within the context what their peers are speaking to them about the world. Looking at online teen discussions it seems clear that there is a group of kids who have zero self esteem and are actively striving to crash their lives because they have no guidance other than the desire to be “cool” – while there is another group of kids who are actively striving to be responsible. When I was a kid there were no kids striving to be responsible in matters of chastity. If anyone was religiously motivated they would be treated like a mentally ill person and no one would be their friend.
We live in a country of choices and a life of choices; we have to be with our kids throughout their journey when they reach their adulthood and so that our kids are making correct choices. The path of destruction is wider than the path of self-esteem & righteousness. It’s our responsibility as a Parent to inform, spank, love and guide our kids to the future what they deserve rather then just blame them for their follies. While I walk in a mall with my kid and she asks me to buy her play station or a star wars gun and I can simply buy that PS or that star wars gun and let her be happy for what I have done. Or I have a choice of just saying “No”, maybe my kid would be upset for sometime but will be normal after few minutes. I can buy her that PS or that Star wars gun to fulfill the Lust, I won’t do that but since I LOVE MY KID I will not buy her those toys. There could be parents around who just go on a sphere of buying PS, Video games, stupid toys, motorcycles’ or allow them to date at a young age , just to show that they are very liberal with their kids , but I tell you that you are absolutely wrong . all I got to say is your are selfish and only love your self. Because you purchased that foolish toy just to get rid of your kid nagging you the whole time.,
So stop being selfish and fulfilling your kids lustful desires but I say Love them and say no when required and your kids shall become responsible individuals.