Sorrow

Sorrow !!! is it medicine for soul? Is it the path to soul ? Is it the uninvited guest ? Or is it the effective devices of nature through which we condition to become humble ?

Without sorrow I would have never been able to recognize my soul. I wonder if I had no sorrow, then I would have been on the same plane as the other animals. Today sorrow has broken down the greatest barrier in my life, which stood between the physical man and the spiritual potentials. It has broken down my old habits of self-pity, complacency & self-satisfaction. Through sorrow I paved my own path to understand the real me and connect with my soul. Sorrow is closely akin to the emotion of Love – the greatest of all emotions.

We all understand that the emotion  of love when missing in one’s life, they tend to become the Hitlers, Stalin’s, tyrants, maniacs, criminals or perhaps the many other anti-social elements present in our society.

Many people experience sorrow in ill-health, death of near ones, financial loss, unemployment, heart-break, poverty and failures. However, out of the few factors stated above expresses the experience of sorrow. I find the connection of sorrow with poverty softens a person and opens paths to opportunities to embellish riches. Fighting sorrow and remaining in its paradigm, only makes worse for an individual. The spiritual capacity within itself if, understood then the person can go to great heights in life. Knaves never know the emotion of sorrow , for if they knew sorrow they would not be knaves. Evidence of my spiritual qualities were made known to me through sorrow. Although it forced me initially to take introspective inventory of myself, It was the most difficult and yet beneficial part. Eventually I realised to discover the cure for all ills & disappointments. It introduced me to the unseen forces of within to  bring up aid, comfort & equivalent benefits at that given time to experience.

These powers within me were stupendous and within my command. Many of my abilities, skills and talents, I had drowned over the years through mechanical and rational lifestyle, were now brought to surface. These skills, abilities and talents were always there within me all these years but I never allowed them to be realised by my conscious mind. Instead of crying and complaining over my sorrow like most do in their life, I managed to overcome it and use it in better way for myself. I told myself “I am still a driver even if the engine is not on and its time to start the ignition and drive on life’s path”. These refinements of body and mind which nature seems to bring solely by device of sorrow, such as elimination of selfishness, arrogance, vanity and self-love. These certain refinements are necessary. Sorrow, like failure, maybe a blessing or a curse, according to ones reaction to it. I accepted it without resentment and disciplined my messed up lifestyle. The choice is always upon us for that change.

Sorrow always arrives in our life to bring a change, good or bad. It’s always for us to connect with our soul during that period, to refine our thoughts, surface our hidden talents and go for that change. The decision is solely ours, what kind of change we might bring onto our life. Never allow sorrow to become self-pity, as it will only weaken you and change you in negative manner. Someone once told “When sorrow fails the devil takes over”. A persons successes and failures and frustrations are the direct result of the manner in which he used his mind , or neglects to use it.

Sorrow has revealed to the world geniuses who never would hae been recognized except for its deep, soul-searching effects. Once again choice is entirely with the individual. Not even God will abrogate ones privilege of controlling his own mind and directing it to whatever ends he may choose, and no other power can cancel this privilege except by the consent of the individual. Thats why I cherish the most important gift given to me by the Creator “Freewill”.

Sorrow becomes a mighty power for good when it is transmuted into some sort of constructive action or personal reformation. Mt mothers sorrow has been known to cure alcoholism of my father after everything else had failed. I recognised sorrow as a cure for my sins and transformed my life. It let me reveal who I was and opened myself for confession from my pride and humbled me, put me closer to Gods love.

A man without sorrow would be an animal as ferocious as the wildest tiger, and infinitely more dangerous because of his superior intelligence. A man without the capacity for sorrow is nearest thing to a devil in the flesh. Once you learn to properly evaluate sorrow you will recognize its benefits whenever they appear, and you will understand it is one of the more essential devices of the nature with which she separates man from his animalistic background. If you have great capacity for sorrow you have also a great potential capacity for genius, provided you relate in the best possible manner. Every sorrow brings with it the seed of an equivalent happiness. Look for that seed, germinate it & reap the benefits of happiness. I hope all of you who are reading this will no longer permit yourself to be annoyed by so trivial matters of life and will be able to take positive actions from the arrival of sorrow. You will also help someone with greater sorrow to master it once you are able to master it. I am thankful to my wife in a great way as she was the one to teach me how to master sorrow in my own life. I am not sure if she knows that she helped me to do this but when she reads this, she will

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Do not bring us to the test

Jesus healed me…

(Something about Diana ……….)

“Don’t give me so much strength that my belief becomes weak”, I asked God after visiting Diana. She is my mom’s best friend, diagnosed for breast cancer and doctors said that probably she’s just counting days. She looked pale and weak but her trust in God is so much stronger than the healthiest people I have seen. Just couple of days ago I when I visited she looked physically better, but today she was almost reduced to half her weight. The thrusts of pain passes from her body to her face, yet below that grim facial expression she manages to spread a mellow smile. Being a single mother is really difficult and when someone has three teenage kids, who have still not recovered from the loss of their father.

Diana had been diagnosed with breast cancer before two years. She wasn’t afraid then as she continued to build up that relationship with God, through prayers and worship. During the process of her treatment she strived on the connection with God, Jesus & Holy Spirit. Indeed she was touched by the Holy Spirit; eventually her final report said that she doesn’t have cancer. This was really a miracle as my mom was by her side throughout her visits at the cancer research hospital. She continued to spread the word of God in and around the town. Reaching out several people, praying for the sick, visiting the poor, the old and needy. What most Christian institution, priests and pastors won’t do, she did, reached out to people with even financial help. It was similar to that story in Bible, where the rich man comes to the temple and offers money and the poor lady comes to offer the only coin she had. Although Diana wasn’t that rich and in spite being a single mom of growing up kids, she regularly helped people financially. Some even took advantage of this attitude of hers, but yet she blessed them. A quality she possessed that not even the brightest of Roman Catholic priests have, who are required to live in the service of God & people. I know the last parish priest swindled donation money and left a unaccounted bank balance, constructing two huge villas for himself with the same money. Perhaps even the current parish priest follows the footsteps of the former. I am not here to speak ill about those priests but what I want to point out here is that willingness to serve God, love one another , help everyone around , from any religion or denomination. I have more respect for her than the pastors or the priests.

She would organize several prayer meetings in the colony and would also go to the tribal area to spread the word of God. She was not running a congregation or a Church, but would not mind visiting any congregation or different churches. She never treated any Christian sect or denomination in hostility. Often she would testify her story of cancer, how she trusted in God, how God healed her and how she is cured. This testimony gave positivity to many; several people looked upon her for any guidance on Faith. She would preach at many different ministries. Never considering that she would set up her own ministry one day and make millions of green money. A pure selfless desire to serve God, a pure passion for Jesus Christ and strong understanding the power of Holy Spirit. I seen that glow on her face those days, with energy that she moved around quicker than a youngster , just so that she could reach maximum places in a day. For what? Just for the love of one another. She was following in the very commandment that Jesus gave in New Testament. Her new born again ways had distanced her close family members from her, who were strong Catholics. They would pounce upon her during family dinners or get together and attack her born again belief. I never saw her say that she belonged to any one section of Christianity, for Diana Catholics, Protestants, Born again, Evangelistic or any other religion were same. She didn’t have prejudice against anyone not even the family members who would turn hostile at family meets. I saw a perfect example of a woman who has devoted her life for God and Christ. Whenever there was a call from a needy person she would close her shop, now tell me who does something like that nowadays. Apparently I have seen her shop being closed for almost four days in a week. She always believed that God will supply all her needs.

Miracle gone…..

 

Few weeks ago she started with fever, then common cold, cough, body aches, headaches and finally bleeding from her breasts. She was so much sure in her prayers that she said “I am ok, God is just testing my belief, it will pass by and I will be ok soon”. The local doctor where she was doing her visits told her to go to the cancer hospital. But she would listen she said “God has already healed me and I am strong, I trust that he will heal from whatever is happening to me”. Her situation worsened, the local doctor gave up on her treatment and declined to assist her, suggested that she must now proceed to the cancer hospital. With great difficulty her mother, brothers and friends convinced her to go to the cancer hospital. Health was so bad now that even to walk few meters’ was a task, breathing was extremely difficult. Upon visiting the cancer hospital the doctors over there declared that it’s the last stage, too late and they can’t help her now. “Take her back home and count days” said one of the doctors. I am not sure what went wrong after that miracle healing and as some of the prayer group members said that perhaps “Devil is attacking her” or some said “God is testing her”. I was totally shaken by the sight when I saw her. My family and I were praying for her everyday and we were asking God to work out this miracle again. Each day passes and her health get worse. This afternoon my mom visited her, she was grieved, in what condition she saw Diana. Mom was almost in tears, she was out of words. Thereafter when I visited her and when I saw her this evening that despite of most parts affected by cancer and pain passing through every bone in her body she still manages to smile and say “I will come out of it, Praise the Lord”.

Consequently I was perturbed and in my shear disbelief, how on earth someone so nice and living on the word of God gets this kind of trauma, this kind of suffering, I never wish that even an enemy get this kind of suffering. What wrong she has done to get this, she was healed for the same disease couple of years back and she even had her reports clear, she was healthy all this while, she even testified and now what’s this? I returned home and was unable to discuss with my mom my feelings because two days back my dad returned from hospital after his surgery ( Oh, he is one kind of Church member , a great social servant , ready to help people 24/7, I will post about him some other time ). I didn’t want to pass negative energy to my parents. I really started to ask God, why? Or if God is there? If he really is there then why does he allow suffering upon his children? My belief in my faith was getting weaker, I was thinking what happens to all the people who came back to faith after listening to Diana’s testimony, will they all be shattered like me in faith. There was lot of emotional bombardment of unknown missiles in my thoughts. I was not at ease, couldn’t find the answer. I was speaking to God all the time through my thoughts. I know if he is there and I am sure he is listening. I got some thoughts reversed to me from God and I guess probably that’s the answer.

Stations of the cross….

 

My dads friend visits dad this afternoon…speaks about some miraculous idols of mother mary and professes his strong faith in God through all those statues. Says he fears God. Tells one episode of how some people wanted to demolish the cross or Jesus and they all died. How many churches he visited as a part of a pilgrimage. Frances Xavier’s body at Goa….( Doesn’t God forbid all that concepts in Bible )

I meet another person speaking about the 14 stations they conducted at the local Catholic Church….wow it was wonderful. (Ritual)

Another lady tells Diana to call a certain pastor so that he will pray over the phone and she will get healed.

Another lady offers Daina a prayer book and tells her to keep next to her pillow.

I don’t know if all these people are truly Christians but I do know something for sure that Diana is a Christian , who doesn’t waste time in rituals or fancy spiritual talks but really goes around spreading the word, praying for sick and old and helping the needy to an extent of even assisting them with shelter , money and food.

Stations of the Cross in bible have great significance about the suffering and journey of Jesus before crucifixion. I know this is the test that Diana is passing from God, when someone declares trust in God, and then I am sure God wants to check out on his children. However flesh, earth, world and material is not our destiny it’s our soul’s journey to heaven and that’s what Diana is passing through; this is her stations of the cross, very painful, suffering, spiritual battle and much more. In Bible God tells so much about the challenges we will have on earth to pursue our destiny to heaven. It’s not about the world its about being with God after death. There is no need for God to test the unbelievers or the atheists, because they disapprove God. I know something from the book of Job, a test which he truly endured.

However, I am happy with some above conclusions my mind gave me, but yet that will not compliment the suffering which Diana endures now; she has got three childish kids who will require her more than anybody on this earth. I guess their belief in God will be shattered incase something bad happens to Diana.

Oh! God I pray , I ask you as you said ask and you shall receive , please I need a miracle for Diana, one more real healing , don’t desert her my Lord. My mom prays to you and trusts in you to work wonders. There are still lots of great work that we need to do together with Diana for the benefit of our brothers and sister and to the glory of God.

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