Vexation of Spirit is the a waste of time, negative thinking is a waste of thoughts.
Verbal conflict is waste of words, Physical conflict is a waste of flesh.
People will always be who they want.
And that’s what makes the world go round,
Unconditional love is scarce.
A pretty girl born in a place where worshipping God was forbidden. To grow up from the backs of Communism where innocent souls died. People have no choice to express feelings, but live in negative thoughts. They only get assurances & promises by their government. Soldiers fighting wars and they don’t know why ?
Love is not the thought of the day for her life. She’d read about love only in books and fairy tales. While her family & the entire country is caught up in the worlds most dreaded disease ‘poverty’.
Poverty is a disease which, once it is accepted , becomes a fixation which is hard to shake off. Misfortune & miscarriage and pre-mature crack babies are normal news. She can never dream about perfect life, when she is awake. When night comes, her father is trying to spread her legs and force it in. When she gets pregnant, its abortion to kill another baby. Strength from great God above is what she’s hoping and that one day Jesus Christ will come to save the world.
Mothers are forced to earning bread for fathers Vodka through prostitution. Children don’t have any reason why they should obey their parents. When was eighteen, sold to flesh trade & transported to Dubai to make a career. I guess, I am still trying to figure it out, why they call Dubai the ‘City of Gold’.It is no disgrace to be born in poverty but once accepted, its side effects are adverse. She has no choice, but to accept the conditions life has offered her. Night clubs, Discos, Bars, Pubs she looks so hearty, feeling fine. She likes to party until, she gets selected by a weird customer and says goodbye to her dance floor mates. She needs to fake love with a total stranger, sometimes till morning. Although she lives now on the worlds most richest place, with water hotels & highest towers. Her soul torments when the day ends to dusk. She only understands material love by wearing Gucci’s & Prada’s. Her life aint stopping at night when the red lights are on, in this district red light means business. All under the watchful eyes of her boss and the local Police. In this world of calamity, she spends nights with dirty looks & men of insanity. Before she used to love to smoke, now she is shifting coke. She tries to hide the scars on her face with Avon & Loreal, but each time she washes her face, she aint loving her looks. As a kid she thought of blue sky and now its bright dark disco lights.
I look from across the bar table at her with a sarcastic smile and see her laughing at the bartender when there aint a joke. She gets impressed with my light color suit, but doesn’t know, I’ll be the one to handcuff her and she will be on her way to deportation. She doesn’t have money but wants to get high. She is wondering if I am the one who’s gonna buy. I buy her a drink and we try to get familiar. In meantime, somehow she realises I aint no customer and its time to say bye. She finds difficult to get away, so she gets emotional. Tells me her story, well it’s not familiar. I try to disagree with certain points and get sillier. Then she says ‘ There aint God in this world and hers is only Prostitution Paradise’. She caught my spiritual nerve, now I try to reason with her pitiful life and I say “God loves you”, she replies”does it looks that he loves me after all that you know about me now”. She says “only heaven she knows is while she sniffing coke”.
I understand, opportunity beckons to everyone who has the ambition to recognize and embrace it, if opportunity does not beckon to us, people create their own opportunity to escape a sort of life. Poverty had paralysed her and destroyed the desire for freedom, now she only enjoys branded things. Quotes of love & commitment fall on the face when morning comes. The talks of love fade when the reaction of alcohol gets low, slowly the stranger wears his clothes and disappears like the night never existed.
That first time I met her and after the long debate on God & life, I decided not to get her arrested and to assure her protection any time in future and that God will save her. Time went by, weeks after weeks I seen her often at the club and raised my thumbs up with a smile and said her Hi. She used to look good, now she looks hideous. She’s seen more Hotel then Rent-a-Avis. I hope she will slow down or someday she will. Now she is lost and can’t find her way to safety. She tells me now that ‘to fake love with her customers, she don’t need rehearsing. Her dignity & flesh are the only things she sells.’ Still I know that beneath those demons she has that warm person. I get her twice to visit the local church and she told me she didn’t feel God, but she felt nice.I thought the spirit was touching her and I tried to find her a better day job. Now she seems soft, no more swearing & cursing. I felt soon I will be able to get her out from her Paradise of Prostitution, as she always refers that too.
She phones me one fine afternoon and says she found a true love and he decided to marry her. I was glad, as I could be, a very bright future for her I could see. Still she needed few days to clear her dues with her boss so she could be free. I prayed this would pass soon and no longer she would be living a life of hell. The next day, I receive a call from my partner at C.I.D ( Criminal Investigations Department ) “We have a crime scene” he said. We rushed to the perimeter, we broke open the door, we find a naked body of a girl on the bed, choked to death. When I discover to see the face……its the face of innocence….of this same girl. I was in tears and without words. Prostitution Paradise that’s all i heard, these words kept ringing in my ears. The feeling kicks in now, she’s in the dark zone….heaven or hell only God knows. Who made who, whats this life? as I ask myself….